haha. been playing for the whole day.
you know what.
im supposed to do my maths today.
and i didnt.!
what date is it today.?
8 december.!
thinking of the date makes me shiver.
why.?
cause its DECEMBER.
and whats more.
i'm only left with 15 more days to COMPLETE my homework.
does it freak you out.?
if it doesnt,
it freaks ME out.
cause i can never complete my homework by then.
NEVER.
ok. now im scaring myself.
thinking how SERIOUS this is.
but at the same time,
i really dont want to do my homework.
not now.
haha. if not now, when.?
whats more.
today is a THURSDAY.
i have theory to do.!
which means.?
im left with 2 days before my piano.!
omg. help me someone.
nope. i have to help myself.
i cant. blehhs.
no determination.
haha. or.
TOO LAZY
thats it.
its im too lazy.
haiis.
haha. ohh wells.
nothing really happened today.
extremely boring.
i cant go for the BBQ today.
how sad.
my parents didnt allow me.
and xinyi is going T.T
haiis.
cant see her again.
i want to go.!!
i dont even know if i can go to the CLASS'S BBQ
not fair.
haiis.
my whole holidays.
i think i've NEVER been out.
not with friends.
not with cousins.
none.
haiis.
when will they believe that he isnt my bf.
well. i think it would take years.
i mean. its my fault for lying.
but i would like to clarify.
that HE IS NOT MY BF.
he is NOT.!
so. in any case.
CHERYL IS NOT TO BE BLAMED TOO.
i mean.
it happened on ME.
no one else.
NO CHERYL.
so why is she having treatments like that too.?
kind of unfair.
im so sorry.
i got you into trouble too.
talking at night ISNT A BGR thing.
please.
if i talked to xinyi till 1 plus.
does it mean im a lesbian.?
NO.!
anyway, im not SWEET TALKING.
NO MUSHY STUFFS.
NONE.
why.?
CAUSE HE REALLY ISNT MY BF.
ohh please believe me.
i cant do anything if you dont believe me.
you blame me for things i didnt do.
banned from the net so i wont see him online.
a last time thing.
but WOW.!?
so if i knew him for my life,
im banned from the internet all my life.!?
NO.!
he is just a friend.!
is there a problem with him as a friend.?
you keep saying he is my BF.
okay. so you'd rather believe that he is my bf.
what can i do.?
i kept denying.
you dont believe.
so you believe your daughter as a flirt.?
or some rebellious girl.
but im not.
really.
i mean. i can be rude.
and dont do things you tell me to sometimes.
but thats really not that bad.
you should count yourself lucky.
cause if im really rebellious.
i would just walk out of the house and go for the BBQ now.
i have the key.
i could just do that.
but i didnt.
i really do listen to you.
you just dont count how lucky you are.
im really sorry that im rude sometimes.
but cause im angry.
i cant control.
sorry.
but all i want to tell you is that.
I DONT HAVE A BF.
i know my piorities.
studies is number one.
tho i dont really treat my studies as number one.
but i know.
the BGR thing.
will be a REAL LATE thing.
not a 14 yr old thing.
you think of me as a small girl.
as those you see on the news.
who would just go to any guy's house
and do stupid things.
i know you told me those cause you cared.
but i really know how to think.
i know its WRONG to do stupid things like that.
i know its WRONG to have a bf now.
but now you dont believe me.
and im sad.!
i cant go out.
ohh please.
that time i went to dental.
and i forgot about the same day thing.
i REALLY forgot.
im sorry.
but i wasnt MEETING ANYONE.
for crying out loud.
i feel like bashing you all when you guys say that.
makes my blood boil.
didnt you see the steam coming out of my ears.?
haiis. who am i talking to now.?
to the person reading this.?
or to my mom and dad.
they will never see this.
yep. so.
forget what i said.
im just writing what flows in my mind.
and the BBQ reminds me of it.
sad.
i really want to go.
sounds like so much fun.
sad sad sad. **
so whatever i do.
hope you'll forgive me.
for i cant control my temper.
sometimes.